Let me know what you think of it. I wrote it pretty quickly so try not to be entirely harsh.
The moon was hidden behind the clouds heavy with rain. Lightning streaked across the sky and thunder rumbled as he crouched in one of the many trees around him near the dirt road. Waiting for the King and his men to come by which should be any minute now. And sure enough here they came, but he heard them before he saw them. First the clopping of horses hooves and then the clanking of armor as men marched by. His heart pounded, his enemy was so close the stakes high. If he scored this kill not only would he become very rich, but he'd also become one of the most famous assassin's in all the world. Rain began to fall now, lightning streaked again revealing the kings carriage. And as the assassin had hoped the man driving had a dark cloak his hood pulled up to shield him from the rain. The assassin crept across the branch until he was crouching directly above the road. Turning his back on the carriage he wrapped his legs around the branch and let himself fall his knife ready. The carriage pulled closer yet and the man driving didn't notice the shadow just above him. The blade showed bright in the lightning as he plunged it deep into the carriage drivers throat. The assassin let his legs relax and he fell into the carriage seat. He flipped the drivers body off the side, it hit the ground with a slight thud but the guards walking just infront didn't hear it over the storm. He took up the reins replacing the driver.
He guided the carriage forward, but voices were yelling ahead. The call to halt came and the assassin smiled as he knew his trap had worked. He pulled on the reins and the carriage halted. The guards ahead of him came back and encircled the carriage. Their backs turned on the only real threat. Deciding to have fun with his all to easy part. The assassin jumped down and walked up to one of the guards. "What is the meaning of this halt? My Lord has to reach Sheredsborg by the day after next." The guard turned his head back ever so slightly not stopping his scan of the dark trees and brush before his eyes. "Relax, we found a wagon ahead and a little off the road. The driver has been slain and the horses cut loose." The assassin carriage driver made a disgusted noise. "Why do we have to stop for that? The man is dead there's no need for us to share his fate." Laughing the guard answered him, "This was most likely the work of bandits, we have a couple of scouts heading out into the woods trying to find them. Until then we sit here and wait." The assassin turned toward the carriage door. "We'll see what my Lord has to say about this interruption then we will see how necessary this stop is." The guard payed no attention to this remark and continued to scan the outlying woods. Leaving the assassin an excuse to speak with the king. He knocked on the carriage door. And the familiar voice of King Garrett responded. "Enter." The Assassin opened the door and climbed in. Garrett sat on the left looking out the window. He turned and saw his driver climbing in. "Ah, Harold come to get out of the rain have you?" Playing his part Harold nodded and without warning lunged at Garrett revealing his blade. The King let out a nearly silent cry as his throat was cut and his pockets searched for any valuables. The Assassin wiped his knife clean and put it back inside his cloak. He then reached into a pocket on the opposite side and pulled out a single red orb. With that in hand he opened the carriage door and began to climb out. Dropping the orb on the rug floor while shutting the door. "Fire, fire!" he yelled as the carriage burst into flames. All the guards turned sprinting for the now well roasting carriage. Orders were given, and the men began trying to put out the fire. Even with the help of the rain it would take awhile. The Assassin seeing his job complete slipped away into the stormy night, becoming invisible as he entered the woods.
Bravo! Descriptive, well written, and succinct. I thought it was great, it's rather ironic that I happen to be playing Assassins Creed II at the moment. I honestly think you should post a continuance.
This is very well written to me. (Better than anything I could write without taking a month for 2 paragraphs.) and i agree with others that it should be continued. I'd be happy to read any continuance of this story.
Well I'll start working on developing a plot it will probably take me a few days. Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me to continue I appreciate it.
That's why you're here isn't it? Although I do suggest you find a beta to go over it and find any errors that you may have missed, or you could post it and everyone could point them out lol
Okay scratch me saying it was going to take a few days to come up with a plot. Here is a continuation of the story I hope you all like it. Let me know what you think. Thanks again.
It had been three days since the assassin killed King Garrett. The kingdom was outraged by his death for Garrett had been one of the greatest kings to ever rule. The recently deceased king was gracious and known for throwing gold into the crowds during parades. Without him the people were revolting. For they all knew the king's son Hayden would come to power, Hayden was a corrupt and evil man. So evil that he himself only weeks ago had seeked out the assassin and asked him to kill his father so that he could take the throne.
Now the assassin walked through the gates of the capital city Dartmouth, pulling his hood from his head as he passed the city watch revealing his dark brown hair tied back in a pony tail and the scruffy beard that he'd not had time to shave. But that didn't matter yet, all that he was concerned with was getting his money. He stopped just inside the gates stepping out of the bustling crowds way. He looked around the city taking in every detail. He could here the many salesman bargaining with their customers, the children running through the crowds playing games. The smell of roasting pig made his mouth water. All he'd eaten for the past three days was dried fruit and raw plants. But what he was really looking for was the castle, and off in the distance he could see it looming over the entire city. It sat on a hill surrounded by its own inner tear of walls. That is where he was going, Hayden the prince to become king was waiting there with his money. And so he moved back into the crowd becoming nothing more than another citizen on his daily business. The city was very clean which struck him as odd. Most cities of this size were filthy due to the huge amount of people and animals that moved in and out regularly. He looked up toward the sun it was almost midday, Hayden would be waiting for him just outside the castles walls by now. Near the river that passed in front of it. The assassin saw one of the 3 bridges leading across the river coming into view. But instead of going over the water he stepped down a side alley on the left side. He was not about to trust a man who had the heart to get rid of his own father. He looked down the alleyway and found what he was looking for. There was a ladder leading up to the roof of what looked like an inn. Many inn's had these ladders to allow their more important guests private entry into the inn. He was close to the ladder and just about to climb up when a rather large man started down it. The man carried a large ax at his side. This must be the guard he thought stepping away from the ladder. He hurried around a corner and put his back to the wall. Listening as the man reached the ground, then silence. He peeked around the corner carefully. The man was leaning against the inn wall, arms folded across his huge chest. The assassin could tell this man was a skilled fighter and any attempt at combat hand to hand would fail miserably. He pulled a small knife from his belt, one of many he carried. Slowing his breathing he stepped around the corner. The guard turned his head to look at him but the assassin moved to quickly. He pulled his arm back and lunged forward, the knife sailed threw the air, straight as an arrow and even more accurate. It hit the guard in the throat. For he'd turned his entire body toward the assassin. The guard clutched at his throat, blood ran down his arms and dripped from his chin as it gurgled from his mouth. Soaking the sandy stone road beneath his feet. He fell to his knees and then collapsed on the ground still rasping for breathe. The assassin pulled the knife from his throat and stomped the guards head. It cracked and the guard ceased to live. Bending down he wiped his small knife on the dead mans sleeve, the man carried only a few gold pieces which the assassin took. He stood and climbed the ladder, reaching the inn's roof. His view of the castles outter grounds was spectacular. And he could see Hayden standing under a large white oak tree looking toward the center bridge. Not suspecting he was being watched by the very man he was looking for. But the assassins suspisions seemed misplaced for nothing looked out of place. The only soldiers in sight stood atop the battlements. The assassin observed the scene for a moment longer and then climbed down the ladder walking back into the crowds heading across the bridge. Once he had reached the other side he stepped out from the people and immediatly moved toward Hayden. The assassin came under the shadow of the oak tree next to Hayden. For the first time the assassin noticed how evil the prince really looked. His blonde hair was slicked back to reveal his entire pale face. And his solid black eyes seemed even darker against his skin. The prince wore a black silk shirt and trousers. On his belt he carried a wicked looking dagger. The two were silent for a moment and then the prince spoke, his voice hissed like a serpent warning of its coming strike. "You've done as I asked, very good my friend." The prince nodded at him and gave a serpents smile. The prince had his arms behind his back and for the first time he brought them around. He held out his hands which held a very large sack of gold. "Take it, go ahead and count it now too." The assassin hesitated. "Go on, go on you've earned every bit of it." Hayden smiled again and stepped closer. The assassin took the bag and spoke for the first time. His voice was deep and confident. "Thank you for your gracious gift King Hayden." The assassin gave a slight bow and pulled the draw string sack open. He started to count it when he suddenly felt very weak. And then he smelled it, there was some type of gas inside the bag. Armored foot steps came up behind him. The assassin turned to fight throwing a punch at the guard on his left. But the gas had made him drowsy and very incapable. The guard blocked the attack easily and punched the assassin across the face sending him sprawling onto the ground. The assassin could see nothing as he hit the soft grass as he fell into unconciousness. His last thought was how could he have fallen for this? And then nothing but deep sleep and the repeated nightmare of how he'd been so easily fooled by a treacherous man.
Wow....how do you write such good plots? and bravo on this continuation, hopefully it won't be long til the next part is out.
I'm not sure how really, I honestly don't think it is even that good but thank you for the compliment. And I've already got the next part outlined in my brain but I have to sleep now. So it will be posted tomorrow for your viewing pleasure.
Yea me to, probably why the part of my story i posted on here sounded so bad.
I read that part and it wasn't bad, it just needs some fine tuning. And I believe its always better to write when you are well rested and thinking clearly but some of the best stuff comes to you when you are delusional from lack of sleep.
hopefully u wont forget the next part while your asleep.
I just finished writing it down on some notebook paper lol.
