This chapter 1 of a story about a AG gamer so heres chapter 1 A AG gamer is playing sonny when the site crashes right whens he at the final boss fight so he grabs the phone and calls the AG office to find out what is wrong but he gets answered with a growl sounding like a zombie so he grabs his headphone shooter gun that goes on zombies heads and make them listen to educational programming then heads off on a epic journey to....to be continued
No, I think he was actually trying to write he's just terrible at it. But either way listen to us, DO NOT CONTINUE, at least not until you find something with a decent plot. And next time add a hook.
.............fail? Do not continue. DO NOT CONTINUE. This is not writing, this is ****. ^ thank you XD That's not even a chapter. -_- I'm supposing this is spam. No, I think he was actually trying to write he's just terrible at it. But either way listen to us, DO NOT CONTINUE, at least not until you find something with a decent plot. And next time add a hook. That was.... bad? stupid? confuzzling? lol, really, it just was not good... ..?..?..? you're the spam machine Jacob wow one post and its SPAM SPAM ZOMG.... plus this would be better in forum games not AMW
Do you guys hear yourself? How woould you guys like it if you tried hard on story and people just told you it sucked? I agree. It isn't a good peice of writing. But at least give him some constructive criticicsm. And this isn't spam, he wrote a short paragraph. He wrote more then you. And what Sloth wrote was completely spam and you guys are juts judging this kid. I'm sure if you guys knew this kid and he told you the story in person. It would sound good! I agree not good but cut him a break.
Nummer Eins! Elaborate on your topic. This wasn't even a full fledged paragraph. Nummer Zwei! Too much action in your little paragraph, not enough backstory. Nummer Drei! GRAMMAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You us 'An' when it comes before a vowel, and 'A' when it doesn't. Nummer Veir! I think I just spelled that worng... Nummer Fuunf! I will edit this, for your sake, and the rest of the AF writing community. I will even throw in the editing of your sentence above it, for free! Ain't I just so darn nice? _________________________
This is Chapter 1 of a story about an AG gamer. So... here is it is.
An AG gamer was playing Sonny when the site crashed. He was right about to fight the final boss, and now his game was ruined. In despair, he grabed the phone and called the Armor Games office, trying to find out what went wrong, but he was answered with a growl. It sounded like a zombie growl. Taking action immediately, he grabed his headphone shooter gun. It was specially equipped with a band that goes around the zombie's head and makes it listen to educational programming. It was the ultimate weapon for a journey like this. So he headed off to the Armor Games office, ready for anything. He had no clue that this would become one of the most known epic adventures in all of AG history. -To be Continued.
Tadaaaaaaa! That made it a trillion times better, but you still need more to the actual story. So. Yeah. GET TO IT!
And to all of the people who dissed on the... thing, you should be ashamed of yourselves. It could be someone who really wants to write a story, but doesn't know excatly how to, so they posted a quick entry about it, wanting constructive criticism. Now when they look on here, they are going to see a page full of "Fails." and "This sucks." Switch places for a moment.
