So this is a place where you can write a story and get it judged The theme for this time is Video Games Somehow you must have video games in your story plot Please don't make the story too short nor too long. You decide on that, but I recommend something between one good paragraph and one page.
Erik screamed and sobbed in the dust as mortar and shell flew past him. Hands raised over his head, he could do nothing more than wish the bombing would stop and hope he could survive. The mortar and brick flew around him as chunks of the surrounding went flying into oblivion. He could hear his companion Ron yelling undecipherable words next to him. The screams of the dead and dying flew all around him in a whirlwind of endless sound.
"God help me." he thought. Erik knew he would probably die here, he'd already survived two of these bombing in the small French town, and he knew his luck was running out.
Suddenly a sharp pain flew through Erik's hand, sending waves of pain shuddering up through his arm to his chest. Erik looked down and wanted to throw up. In his left hand a piece of sharp brick about two inches, was imbedded halfway into his hand. Feeling waves of intense nausea, he ripped the piece outward and let out a primal, instinctual roar that apparently his French comrade Ron hear from over the whistling and explosions. Ron looked up from between his two hands where he was praying silently, mouthing the words to himself, and his eyes met Erik's. Erik screamed through the pain, the rage, the unfairness of it all. He yelled out every curse word he knew at the Nazi Barrage. He turned back to Ron who was still flat on the ground motioning and grabbing for Erik so he'd get down, and that was when Erik realized he had gotten up.
"ZSSSSHHHTTT" a distinct, sharp whistle sounded through the air as the wall next to Ron exploded at the top and began to topple towards them. "rarrrrrrghghh!" Erik yelled as he closed his eyes and flipped his hands reflexively in front of him. Something pushed on him, and then he was flying.
Erik looked up, dazed. The entire wall had been caved in. Ron was nowhere to be found. Coughing in the smoke and dust, Erik listened as the sounds of battle came back to a surreal blur, then to full sound again. Something nudged Erik's boot as he tried to scuttle towards where Ron had been. Looking down he saw Ron, stretched out underneath a wall of brick, hands splayed out in front of his head as if reaching out or pushing, and then Erik knew what had shoved him out of the way.
The mortar and shells stopped. The sound stopped. The explosions and gunfire on the town ended. The cries of the dying rang out acrost the cobbled streets, as Erik pulled himself out of the ruined house and stared at the many other American and French soldiers crawling from the rubble.
A man rode by in a small battle jeep, which barely seemed servicable. He yelled out into the silence for all to bring their wounded to the hospital on the other end of town, and the rest to group at the north end of it, right by a fortified wall at the base of a hill where the Germans were camped on top.
Erik gritted his teeth as he wound a dusty cloth acrost his hand and deep cut, grabbed his weapon from amongst some rocks, and began to jog towards the North side.
Upon arrival Erik found many other members of his unit ready for whatever their leader called to do. The jeep came rumbling along the cobbled street.
"Those Nazi b*s***ds have let off the barrage, and now we'll unleash hell on them!" the group of five hundred or so men let out a loose cheer. "We'll make them wish they'd never started this D***ed war!" this time the troop was in better spirits. "now up the hill at them to wipe their scrouge off the French land, for freedom, for lives, for honor!" he screamed brandishing his saber into the air. Erik and the other men began the steep climb up to the hill.
According to intelligence that was gathered whenever the shellings and mortaring stopped, there was only a group of 50 or so of the enemy on top.
Erik screamed as he ran up the seemingly endless hill, the steep climb exhausted him and his lungs were ready to burst by the time he had gone a 1/4th of the way up. Erik heard a sharp blaring noise that his mind took 1/2 a second to recognize, and two seconds to see the effects.
The high caliber machine guns cut through the oncoming units with every sweep. Men screamed in pain as they literally lost their legs and went tumbling down in a hail of dirt.
Eriks adrenaline rushed as his legs pumped harder and faster to make it up the hill. Erik ran on with half the surviving troop and was nearing the end of the hill. he counted the feet down, 50... 40... 30...20...
Erik begin to think he might actually make it, when he felt "it"
A cold spread through his body, starting in his chest, then spreading out to his arms and legs. Erik willed his limbs to move, to work, to push on, but he was falling, so slowly falling...
Erik hit the dirt. Hard. He knew he'd been hit, he knew it was over , he turned over in a haze of pain he couldn't ever have thought possible, and looked at his comrades feet go flying by.
Erik closed his eyes, and the pain and cold ended.
inspiration by Call Of Duty. i forget which game but this is a scene from it. i hope you find this well enough to judge, if not i could change it.
Very nice silentphantom! I think you're gonna win, and your story in my opinion was the best! You do need to work on punctuation a little bit, but overall it was very well written!
if i may say, my story was not copied out of a video game mate. >_> my story was involved as a side scene from it. Call of Duty 2 i believe
in that scene you dont run with the main charge, you are with two other guys i think going up the left side of the hill unbenouned to the Germans. If you look to your right, you can see the charging men, but it is also in a much smaller scale. (500 men my story, 20-50 in the game)
I was interested in the story of what had happened before the battle charge and what it would be like for a young soldier stick in the war to be in it. this is not copied off a video game, but is a side scene add on too it of my own thought product that touches nowhere on the main plot of the FPS call of duty besides being set in that same French town and going up the hill.
Nilos story was also not copied out of a video game, it was a side product of a young boy caught in a real life halo battle -.- ive never seen that in Halo
the story "game over" (if i may call it that), ive never seen that happen in a game -.-.
Erik sat in front of the TV, playing Call Of Duty 2.(at least i think it's from Cod2)
The TV screen slowly turned to Red, then faded Black as Erik died AGAIN! "stupid germans!" he yelled out to the house where only he and his bed-ridden grandpa were. He pressed to restart the level. He began to play for a short time.
Soon after he found himself in a battle with a German sniper on a hill. "stupid charging units can't cover at all!" he yelled. "this game is crap!" "the teammates don't cover you from the hill they're charging up!"
"cough, wheeze." "Erik" his grandfather muttered. "i was in world war two... wasn't pretty.." He said with a small smile. "really?" Erik asked suddenly interested. "the men on the hill in that video game couldn't cover you because they were so busy with their own battle. "oh" Erik said angrily, thinking this would lead to a lecture. "I actually had a friend named Erik in that war... He was in a charge not to dissimalar to that scenario..."
And the story of Erik began.
(insert earlier story here.)
"Erik didn't make it naturally..." His grandfather wheezed, exhausted from that small speech. "Erik, you just remember that those men represent so many other like Ron and Erik in the story, men that fought and died, it's a game, and you can't get so mad over it when the people in it don't perform how you want them too...."
A small addition so it more centres around the videogame idea, not just that scene from it.
I may come up with an entry later. I don't want to sound negative, but I do not think this thread will last. There was one that got stickied, but it died for some reasons. =( I wish it were back, but it wasn't well organized.
im afraid ,i will be the first to cast a vote that if the judge for this thread is inactive after four to five days, somebody else should take over, if hes not juding for w/e reason -_- (i.e: grounding, waiting for more stories, vacation etc.) if this isnt at the top page, were not going to get that many more people....
Sorry it took so long Here are the results First XSilentPhantomX Good details and plot It has a "sad ending" Details made your story more interesting it didn't feel rushed like the other stories Second: OperationNilo Good story but not enough details The plot was good Third:KawaiiRion Very Short Not nearly enough details Plot is so so The others: loover48 2/18 (1/9) of your story is made up words Obviously it has little plot and no details escartian My story it had details but it was rushed and plot was not so good.
About merit reward for First place...we would have to see the mods about that... It feels like the battle started and ended too quickly (it felt rushed) The plot was good Third:KawaiiRion Very Short Not nearly enough details Plot is so so
Arg the order was messed up! Oh well (don't know how it happened it just did) The new topic can be chosen by the first place winner (unless he declines then it goes to second, then third, then back to me but hopefully we won't have any problems with that)
does this mean i will judge with you as well? thanks for picking me mate.. hope i get teh merit but sooo next topic...
Alone in a dark house.....
the main character must somehow find themself alone in a house. (i.e: a "saw-like" piece you wrote, a kid in a haunted house, a power going out and a serial killer outside....) no copying scenes out of movies or books please,or "rewriting them." feel free to use the "saw characters" but write your own scenes for them please .
You can help judge with me (it will affect the outcome of my decisions)Any one can judge but as of right now the final winners will be chosen by me alright? You are also allowed to write on your own topic too
