Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → [req] Kyouzou's Workshop

Ill give this a review 8.5/10. To me it shows how human beings are too stubborn to listen to anything somebody says I really liked it.I hope to see more poems in the future.

Thanks I plan on writing one everyday, time permitting. So anything I could have done better?

I find it nice but next time make it a little more understandable for younger readers its a minor problem i understand just if youre wondering.

Haha It wasn't exactly aimed at younger readers, and from my experiences most of the people interested in poetry on AG can usually understand things of that nature.

Yeah cant wait to see your next poem.

lol idk u were a poet kinda dark but if you get it its good if not well your stupid

wow [b][i]

Hahaha noob bold and itilic fail.

It's the first poem that's ever just come to me, I didn't even have to think about it really. Thanks for the compliments though Ace, Aqua.

Jabello, unless you have something to say that isn't spam, don't bother posting. Yeah?

Here's my latest poem, I'm a little unhappy with it, but we'll see.

Captured Souls

Ye who show devotion
Forget...
Your churches
Your mosques
Your temples
Your synagogues

For they are but cages
For a merciless god

Look within yourself
And you shall find
The god that you seek

Look around you
And you shall see
The true miracle of creation

Review time i give it 7.5 because well like you said it is a little bad no offense but I do like most of it though heres what i say on a rate of highest to lowest.
Great
Good
Ok
Bad
Terrible
I give it Good.Its my new review system hope you like it.

Can you point out what could be better?

Ok ill point out a minor error for you some people have a smaller vocabulary so use less complicated words on youre next one just a tip.

Last one you did there was pretty good. Only one hiccup I saw, but otherwise very good.

The god that you seek

Last one you did there was pretty good.

'The god ye seek' would have gone better with the flow you had established.