Contradicting title, No? Considering this is to be the future place where I stock all poems and story ideas, it really is a contradiction. I figured I might as well put all of my ideas into one thread... at least I can keep track of most of them here. The only thing that will keep this thread alive is for people to tell me what they think. Basically, tell me when it needs, what it is missing, what it has too much of, ect. Please. Don't let this die. Thank you.
Well I am pretty much GUFN from the Mac, so I need a few ideas from my minio- I mean friends. What would you like to see on this? Magical lands? Assasins? War? End of the World? An assasin that lives in a time of war in a magical land when the world is about to end? BTW GUFN is Grounded Until Further Notice. Basically for life in this house. So say goodbye to my re-write of my story that got stolen by an evil editor that refused to publish it. ~waves a hankie while silent tears roll down my face~ Farwell Story! Rest In Peace dear old friend!
1. Deleted second failed link. Try looking at the buttons up above the text box, or in one of the guides (there is one stickied in the new comer's section), so you don't have to triple post, with the last two being spam. It is not that hard. 2. Deleted Secretmapper's post, which was blatant spam, obviously due to his bad memory when it comes to the rules. Also Efan's other post about Secretmapper's post.
On another note, well, just because something has been done before does not mean it cannot be done again and done well. After all, there seem to be no real original thoughts left, and as long as there is no ripping off of stories, characters and what not, there is always another way of doing it. *shrug*
Cold Dark And alone I could be warm With family At home Sometimes I wish I could still be ignorant, Still have that bliss. But it wasn't meant to be I'm not supposed to have That possiblity. Wait There is a light! No. It was just a star in the night. Cold Dark Alone Will I ever find a way home?
Since I have a moment, I'll give this a quick rundown. Well, it's short, and somewhat to the point, but it lacks flow. I can see how the jarring flow could be used to the piece's advatage here, but at the same time if you're going to keep most of the lines short then don't have longer lines, it breaks the rhythm and the effect of the poem.
Well what if I didn't want it to flow? What if I wanted the reader to be running along and then have to jump over the broken bridge and make themselves keep running in their own fashion? Hmmmmm? What then? That is my way of saying, I want each individual to think of it their own way, how it fits their own life.
-_- Way to make me feel wolf. Way to go. Must every last piece of something I write be so crappy?! GAH. If it wasn't for love of poetry being twined with my soul, if I still have one, I would quit it.
Keep the good work Moon; I can already clearly see a big improvement from when I first read your poems in the poetry contest, some months ago. As wolf pointed out; there is the possibility that the coagulated flow of this poem makes up for a good styllistical scheme. It's all like you said; it depends on how we read and perceive it. I for one found it quite nice; it reads quite well in my opinion.
Oh don't worry, I wasn't trying to imply that you were mean on purpose; just thought it sounded a little funny given the circumstances. By the way, how long have you had that armatar, fox brother?
What if I wanted the reader to be running along and then have to jump over the broken bridge and make themselves keep running in their own fashion?
That there is a decent metaphor, but keeping no flow etc. Makes a pretty bad poem. If you are telling the reader to jump over bridges, then absolutely anything is poetry. Point being: it's just bad form, really.
