Contradicting title, No? Considering this is to be the future place where I stock all poems and story ideas, it really is a contradiction. I figured I might as well put all of my ideas into one thread... at least I can keep track of most of them here. The only thing that will keep this thread alive is for people to tell me what they think. Basically, tell me when it needs, what it is missing, what it has too much of, ect. Please. Don't let this die. Thank you.
Well, I don't want to start a debate; but in definition, isn't free poetry ''any writing that appeals to the emotions of the readers''? Wouldn't be called free otherwise...Given that it conveys a strong emotion in a certain scheme or pattern, it is reasonnable to accept it as poetry, no?
Thanks for critiquing Fallen. Thanks a lot. Oh and I need you guys to like find one poem I've written ( look in the digest, here, poetry contest, first line poetry ect.) And re-post it on here, cause I shall enter it in for a contest. It is also to see who the heck is actually following this thread, and if you guys actually take the time to read it. So, consider it a test. mwhahahaha.
After a pretty much pointless conversation with a few people, I have decided to give this another go. Might as well try, even though I think we all know this will be heading to the last pages sometime soon. ._.
I might post some poetry or something here in a bit. Stay tuned my imaginary friends!
After a pretty much pointless conversation with a few people, I have decided to give this another go. Might as well try, even though I think we all know this will be heading to the last pages sometime soon. ._.
Streaks of light Bleach the sky With it's simplicity A brilliant shine Soft blue Fades to black Waiting for the dew To appear on the grass The green And blue The black And white The colors How to indite How to recite To the blind of beauty The blind of nature Why should I explain? Is it my duty? But I must share The breathtaking scene But how can I To those who haven't seen... I will try But know I might fail Beauty held by my eye Must prevail ____
I'm stopping there, otherwise I would be here for a few hours trying to end it.
So uh, I guess tell me how it would be better. Besides my complete lack of punctuation, of course.
"To Appear on the grass" would fit much nicer if it was "Appearing on the grass". I feel it would connect better.
Then you have:
Why should I explain? Is it my duty?
Which, in my opinion is totally independent of the rest of the poem and is like it is breaking it apart. Yes it is explaining how one should go about explaining the vast colors to a blind person, but maybe it could be worded differently?
I'm glad you revived the thread This new poem didn't have anything bad about it. But. I'm sure I can find something! Except that Freakenstein did pretty much what I was going to say.
I liked the poem, especially the last few lines. They really worked together, and seemed to flow off the tounge when you say it aloud. And I agree with Freakenstein:
"To Appear on the grass" would fit much nicer if it was "Appearing on the grass".
