The rules are simple; write a short story based off of the current theme. The story should be posted in one post, keeping with the shortness, or else the judges will be confused. Also, if you would like to make multiple entries, please note which you would like to have judged. Give all stories a title.
Winners of each round will choose a theme for the next.
Yeah... I noticed some mistakes on your piece, just saying
No big deal man, I did it kinda quick trying to get the judge spot and this is all for fun (I didn't even proof read it :s ). I was never that great with writing anyways(I'm more of a numbers guy), but I figured I'd try this out you know?
so can i judge??? idk really but that be kinda cool.
You need to make an entry to judge....
I think I already got the next judging spot because I entered before you....Maybe he wants more than 2 though...I dunno wait until he posts about it. As for now just go ahead and write your story.
Here it is!!! dont judge my grammer. i know there are probably a few. i am used to word!
The Lost Temple ________________
It was dark. Eserath looked at his brother Kickamota.
"Ready?" Eserath whispered.
"More than ever" Kickamota replied.
They sprinted of into the distance, with as much dexterity as a cat. As they ran, the guards never even heard a footstep.
"Fools..." Thought Kickamota.
Like a shadow, they darted from corner to corner in complete silence. Their black maskes shone in the moonlite entering through the windows. They had only one goal; To find the golden scepter. Why they wanted this? The only thing they new was about an old Japanese legend about the scepter bringing back their ancestors. Did they want the scepter for their country? No. Their only goal was to bring back Mushiki, Their great grandfather. Mushiki a strong man. He was known in the land as "Denryoku no Ninja" or the ninja of power. With him alive, they would destroy the evil emporer Nanacha once and for all.
"Ha. This was easier than i thought" Eserath said. "No traps, stupid guards, and I thought the emporer would have this place much more-"
At that very moment smoke filled the room. The warriors of shadow looked at each other and could not stop coughing. From the opening in the roof three heavily guarded samurai jumped down and yelled "Be gone, intruders!!!". Still weezing, they drew their kantanas caught off guard. The first samurai swung a large overhead blow at Kickamota. He rolled out of way just as the sword was at his chest. The smoke cleared. Kickamota kicked the samurai in the chest, grabbed his sword from his hand and stabbed him in the eye with one fellow lung. Leaving the sword in his face, he grunted. The next two guards charged and yelled and ear splitting scream. Eserath spun around and spung his sword straight into a samurai's chest, impaling his armor and leaving him to die. He then jumped oveer the next guard, ripped of his helmet in mid-air, sliced his sword into his neck and landed in a crouching position.
"Basterds..." Eserath growled
As the boys aproached the scepter, they opened the lid with caution. Kickamota grabbed hold of the scepter and was in aw of its beauty.
"What do we do now?" Asked Kickamota.
"This is only the begining..." Replied Eserath.
At the same time, they screamed "FOR MUSHIKI!!!" and dashed off into the night.
Jackson, can I get a name to your story? (FYI, this is yours), Oh and sorry, I'm a very strict judge.
Setting: The setting was sparse, having a single line describing a room shone with moonlight. The line was followed by short descriptions of how the atmosphere in the room changed. Personally, I liked the single description of the moonlight, but I am enraged by the fact you couldn't even describing a room.
The fact that somehow- you didn't say how- they escaped the room and darted off into the night...
3/10.
Plot: It followed the basics, having a good start representing the characters, rising action as the characters proceed, and a climax featuring an action scene invloving samurais.
7/10.
Characterization: Both of the main characters were not represented well; As I read through I couldn't help but think about who the hell are Eserath and Kickamota. No personality, no description, no good score.
I didn't even know if they are female or male.
2/10.
Showing, not telling: The action scene is a good example, but I despise the fact that you told me the whole concept in ONE SMALL PARAGRAPH. You could have done a big scene, dialogue, or just replaced it with more good action- which is what your story is apparently about.
3/10.
Concept: I liked the concept, it has been well represented and I could picture the force of the "Scepter." The ninjas stealing it for the sake of their grandpa was also a nice touch ^.^
7/10.
GPS (Grammar Punctuation Spelling): Horrible. I gagged multiple times as I read this. While your punctuation was fine, every two seconds I sensed another error.
And to add to that, your dialogue formatting was wrong.
2/10.
Overview: This seems like the kind of stories fans excitedly write as "Fan fictions" for stuff. While the basic stuff was all fine, having countless grammatical errors, horrifying characterization and stupid setting, I didn't enjoy read this story much.
I am sorry (Please don't go all angry) to give you an average of:
4/10
~DV.
@MusicMan, I'll do yours some-when tomorrow/ this week.
lol. i dont care. seeing ur a strick judge, lets say a four is good!!! im optimistic lol. the largest room in the world is the room of improvement right?
Not to be rude, but thats impossible. How are we supposed to cram setting, plot, characterization, and concept, into ONE paragraph. Three paragraphs might be acceptable, but certainly not one.
Not to be rude, but thats impossible. How are we supposed to cram setting, plot, characterization, and concept, into ONE paragraph. Three paragraphs might be acceptable, but certainly not one.
It says "AT LEAST" so that people won't spam little stories that tell us nothing.
@DeadlyVelo
I just realized that my stroy had no real setting! (yay!) 0/10 in that category . Also I though silvermoon wanted you to judge the pieces or at wait to submit the judging around March 10?
May i resubmit?
Silvermoon said that you can submit multiple entries, but you must specify which one you want to be judged.
@XsilentPhantom, are you gonna join and submit now?
I just realized that my stroy had no real setting! (yay!) 0/10 in that category . Also I though silvermoon wanted you to judge the pieces or at wait to submit the judging around March 10?
DV, you are really thinking ahead. Anyway... MusicMan and DeadlyVelociraptor shall judge, I'll keep you in mind though, jacksonghuntington. Anyway, just to clarify, keep all your judgment in a post if possible. It will make it easier to average everything out. You needn't go into such detail though, 'DeadlyVelo'. You guys are doing a ridiculous job of keeping this thread bustling without me. XD
Never have more than three judges. Sorry, but having to many will wreck the thread AND, they should prove they have quality writing and judging skills. I may be taking this too serious, but I don't want this thread to die because of easily prevented ciercumstances. It has too much potential for that.
