Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Limerick Land

There once was a man from New York,
Who had a job molding fine forks,
He really looked like a loon,
When he tried to make a spoon,
But he ended up making a spork!

There was an old man from Cali,
Who built his home in a valley,
But then one day,
It was taken away,
For when paying his taxes he'd dally.

I own three sharp knives,
They've taken many lives,
The police came along,
I sang a rude song,
Now they've grieving wives.
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Widows,
Like minnows,
Are sad little things,
Both are lacking rings,
Sad the way time flows.
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^just to show that not all limericks have to be cheerful, huh.

There once was a man from Sudan,
He created a nasty plan,
He would take off his pants,
And with chainsaws he'd dance,
So now he's no longer a man.

There was once a man from a small village,
And houses he would like to pillage.
One day the police came,
And they thought "What a shame".
Because of him they were all killed by a fridge.

You don't mess with village folk.

There once was an man named Jim,
Who decided to go for a swim,
He had lots of charm,
Till a shark bit his arm,
And now he is missing a limb!

There once was a man named Gary,
He took a ride on a ferry,
He fell off of the boat,
The propeller hit his throat,
So now he looks quite scary!

There was a man from Lancaster,
As an artist he was a master,
But before he did chill,
And he decided to fill,
His XBOX 360 with plaster.

Just came across this thread, and I have to admit that the limerick is one of my favorite forms of verse. Over the years, I'm memorised more than a few, so I'll post some of the ones I really like, here.

This one's an oldie, but a goodie:

There was an old lady of Clyde
Who swallowed six apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside.

I remember coming across quite a few musical limericks. Here's a sample:

That eccentric composer Rachmaninov
In overtures used to let cannonov
Or was that Tchaikovsky?
Yes, he let them offsky
Rachmaninov played the pianonov

You're really going to wish that I hadn't stumbled across this thread.

One thing I like about limericks is that if they're well-written, they can become tongue twisters. Try pronouncing this one quickly, and perhaps you'll see what I mean:

A tutor who taught on the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
"Is it harder to toot or
"To tutor two tooters to toot?"

Another musical one, about the composer Muzio Clementi (he has a nice entry in Wikipedia):

The sonatas by Mr Clementi
Must number one hundred and twenty
A figure not dwelt on
As students just belt on
Content to concede there are plenty.

A railway journey?

There was an old man from Darjeeling
Who travelled from London to Ealing
A sign on the door
Said, "Don't spit on the floor!"
So he carefully spat on the ceiling.

Beware of the limerick bore;
From a seemingly infinite store
He trots out more verse
Where the scansion gets worse
But the subject's the same as before.

Guilty as charged.

All hail to the town of Limerick
Which provides a cognomen, generic,
For a species of verse
Which for better, or worse,
Is supported by laymen and cleric.