Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Holden012's Story

You mean AG users, or suggestions.

Well, most everyone here knows I love things getting blown up, so good luck.

Preferably AG users , Anyone want to be in the story?

ooo! ooo! i do! i do! is there a character sheet i have to fill in or something? i wanna be a PFC, who nobody thinks is kewl, but then, he like, beasts it up, and goes up in the ranks really fast!!!!

No Character sheet needed . No problem I'll add you in there.

I've been in 2 stories already. Why not this story? I'm in.

Part 1

In Afghanistan, Asia, October 7, 2001, 19:00 Hours
A Squad of 4, Bravo 24 were moving in to a little village, It was quiet ⦠Too quiet but then they spot two snipers. âBeast, Two snipers on that building, Take the one on the left and Iâll take the other one.â Ordered Capt. Holden. âYes, Sirâ Replied Beast (Sgt. Legend). âOn three, one, twoâ Capt. Holden pauses âWhy Have you stopped counting?â Asked PFC. Fury. Capt. Holden makes the Shhh noise. âDo you want to get killed?â Capt. Holden Whispers. âThere is an enemy patrol coming.â âIâll take them on!â PFC. Fury says with confidence. âClassic Rookie.â Sgt. Legend said with a grin on his face.

A spot light shines where they were hiding. âCrap, we have been spotted, Take cover!â Yells Cpl. Miller. Bullets fly all over the place as the enemies try to kill off our Squad. Sgt. Legend pulls out an AK-47 and blasts them with bullets. âWell that took care of them, Nice job Beast. It is true you are a Beast when it comes to weaponry.â Complimented Cpl. Miller.


To be Continued...

Part 2 will be out later Today...

So guys What Do you think of part 1?

Part 1

In Afghanistan, Asia, October 7, 2001, 19:00 Hours

A Squad of 4, Bravo 24 were moving in to a little village, It was quiet , Too quiet but then they spot two snipers. "Beast, Two snipers on that building, Take the one on the left and I'll take the other one." Ordered Capt. Holden. "Yes, Sir" Replied Beast (Sgt. Legend). "On three, one, two." Capt. Holden pauses "Why Have you stopped counting?" Asked PFC. Fury. Capt. Holden makes the Shhh noise. "Do you want to get killed?" Capt. Holden Whispers. "There is an enemy patrol coming."I'll take them on!"PFC. Fury says with confidence. "Classic Rookie." Sgt. Legend said with a grin on his face.

A spot light shines where they were hiding. "Crap, we have been spotted, Take cover!" Yells Cpl. Miller. Bullets fly all over the place as the enemies try to kill off our Squad. Sgt. Legend pulls out an AK-47 and blasts them with bullets. "Well that took care of them, Nice job Beast. It is true you are a Beast when it comes to weaponry." Complimented Cpl. Miller.

To Be Continued...

Part 2 will be out later Today...

So guys What Do you think of part 1?

^^ Fixed it so what do you guys think?

"There is an enemy patrol coming." "I'll take them on!"PFC. Fury says with confidence.

Not bad man, I hope you'll have a little more plot in part two?

Yeah Part 1 was just a little tease to get people wanting more ... Part 2 will be a bit longer but I actually don't know if it would be ready today though.

Not bad my man!

That was pretty epic, your a natural at writing, I'm guessing. Writing is hard for me, I've tried to write lots of stories but most of them failed.

On-topic: It was great for Part 1, hope to see Part 2 tomorrow or sometime soon.

You need to work on your punctuation and grammar. The story was okay, but the part with Sgt. Legend is bad. He just kills everyone.

[quote=jdoggparty]You need to work on your punctuation and grammar. The story was okay, but the part with Sgt. Legend is bad. He just kills everyone.[/quote]


Thanks for the feedback everyone.