ForumsArt, Music, and WritingShort Story Contest - Theme: Discovery/Exploration (Page 16)

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silvermoon123
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silvermoon123
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The rules are simple; write a short story based off of the current theme. The story should be posted in one post, keeping with the shortness, or else the judges will be confused. Also, if you would like to make multiple entries, please note which you would like to have judged. Give all stories a title.

Winners of each round will choose a theme for the next.

If you would like to become a judge, pipe up now.

The current theme is: Ninjas!

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silvermoon123
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silvermoon123
855 posts
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Oh, I just realized I forgot the deadline!

The deadline is March 10th.

TRUdog
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TRUdog
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Hoorah! I've been waiting for someone to make a short story contest. I will probably be posting my entry soon :3

jacksonghuntington
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jacksonghuntington
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OMG this is a great idea... got to think of a frickin story now!!! god idea for a thread. story will be up shortly. Can the ending be like a cliff hanger though?

silvermoon123
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silvermoon123
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Do you get a merit for this?

Since I am not a mod, no.

Can the ending be like a cliff hanger though?

Sure, whatever you want.
DeadlyVelociraptor
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DeadlyVelociraptor
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I'm writing, almost done

Can it be about samurais killing ninjas, not ninjas?

silvermoon123
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silvermoon123
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Can it be about samurais killing ninjas, not ninjas?

As long as there are ninjas in it, yes.
DeadlyVelociraptor
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DeadlyVelociraptor
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This is really a rough draft, I myself feel I need to work more on some of it.

here is my entry (AKA, there is an awesome easter egg for whovever understands japanese here :P) :

Almost Dead.

Almost dead; a very un-comfortable position that is tortuously balanced between the agony of death and the will to live. At this painful point in life most will whisper the elder's words and close their eyes; slipping into the peaceful quiet of death. Yet I have one factor that lets me move on, let's me look in the eye's of death and strike it with my sword, and that is pride. As a holy samurai of the golden empire's royal army, I must always fight. I must always bring justice to this crime-filled nation. And so I snort, spit dirty blood from my mouth and get up. And as I look around me, seeing the bodies of countless ninjas, I remember what a horrible night it was.

. . .

"Congratulations," the emperor declared raising a delicate, artist made goblet filled with sake. "Out of a thousand trained samurais three have been picked!" The emperor points at me, Chimeitikina, and Sokudotori.
We bow, letting our swords lean slightly against the ground. "As for the celebration," The emperor says taking a sip of his drink. "It shall begin now!"
The crowd cheers, firecrackers are ignited and the gloomy night get's lightened up by the fiery explosions. "Great honor is presented upon us this day," Sokudotori says patting me on the back. "Cheer up, Eiyuu. Have a glass of sake"
"I will, I am sorry. I cannot sweep off the feeling the emperor is open to attack at any time," I say taking Sokudotori's hand off my shoulder-guard. "The fact he is currently drunk does not help, either"
"The palace is more than well protected, it's not like a ninja could just rush in from the shadows and stab the emperor," Chimeitikina says looking around.
"Ninjas do more than just run out of the shadows," I mumble.
"Well," Sokudotori says. "If you two are so paranoid, I'd go check in on him". He leaves, heading for the private room of the emperor. We have a couple drinks of Sake, quietly sipping the drink.
"He was right, nothing could go wrong," Chimeitikina says finishing off another glass. "Tori will be back any minute just quietly telling us tha-"
"The emperor is dead!," Sukodotori yells, everybody's voices silence. "He has been stabbed by a poisoned blade while urinating!"
"Ninjas...," Chimeitikina whispers. Everybody goes into panic, running around and spilling drinks. "Chimeitikina, Eiyuu, get everyone out of here... I'll take care of them," Sukodotori says taking out his katana.
"You can not do this alone!," I yell, rushing towards Sukodotori.
"Just go!," Sukodotori says. I nod. We lead the civilians out of the palace holding lanterns. As we get far-away, to the mountains, everyone rests.
"We cannot leave our brother-in-arms like that," Chimeitikina says panting. "We must go to aid him."
"We cannot leave the civilians like this," I exclaim. "They will be in definite threat"
"They will be safe with the palace guards," he says. "Besides, we are far enough from the palace." I recalculate our chances.
"Let us go in aid of a sacrificial soldier," I say. We head back to the town, sneaking in the shadows until we reach the palace.
"I'll take the patrols out," Chimeitikina says taking out his bow. I nod, sneaking into the shadows of the palace's halls. Then I see two of them, wearing pitch black uniforms and holding shurikans. I signal with my hand, the three ninjas fall down dead on the ground.
"Nice job," I whisper. I look around me, the main hall is filled with blood, flipped over tables lay everywhere and the bodies of many ninjas lay on the floor. I try searching for sukodotori, he is no-where in sight.
"Where is he?," Chimeitikina asks, holstering his bow. "You think he might've escaped?"
"Impossible, from the ninja bodies on the floor I think more than 50 attacked," I reply, counting the bodies.
"Maybe he tried reaching the emperor's body," Chimeitikina says. "The man had great honor for his master"
"He couldn't, he would burn the emperor's body to keep the ninjas from finding the key to the treasury," I say, moving out into the middle of the hall; Chimeitikina follows. As we walk I hear a faint whisper. "Sukodotori!," I yell.
"Over... here," the faint whisper of Sukodotori's voice rings through the hall. Chimeitikina runs fast toward Sukodotori before I can warn him.
"Chimeitikina! It's a tra-" The ninja comes from the below, stabbing Chimeitikina from where Sukodotori is located; he falls down dead. I charge toward the ninja with my katana, he gets out his own just as 5 more appear. I make a strike to the first one's chest, sending my katana through his chest. One attacks, swinging his sword at my head. I duck, making the sword slash another ninja ready to attack. Two dead, three to go, I whisper. I pull my katana out of the ninja's body, sending a blow with the hilt on the attacker's crotch. I kick him in the head, he falls back in pain with his body paralized. The other two get out shurikans, the first one throws and misses, the second throws and hits my leg. An indescribable pain jolts through as I pull the shurikan out and throw it back. It lands on the second one's head. Only one ninja left now... Next to him stands Sukodotori.
"Kill him!," I yell looking at Sukodotori's scar filled face. In reply, he takes out his katana, and waits.
"I'm sorry, Eiyuu, it was too good of a deal," Sukodotori says, making some kind of hand signal. The ninja runs away to the shadows. "And you... You were not suppose to interrupt"
"What is this non-sense, Tori?," I say panting, the pain from the shurikan hit still living in my leg.
"The emperor's treasure is something I, sadly, must inherit," He says pulling out a shiny gold key, decorated with the emperor's mark.
"Have you lost all your honor, Tori! How can you do this!?," I say pointing to the key. "You will lose all your samurai honor!"
"The problem is:," He says, releasing the locks in his armor and letting it fall, revealing him wearing a pitch black robe with the ninja mercenary symbol. "I never had any"
"No!" I yell with every power left in my lungs. I charge with my katana at the side. Tori moves fast, sprinting towards me with his katana raised to his shoulder.
Our bodies meet at excatly the middle of the hall, he downs the katana deep into my chest- now spitting blood like a waterfall. I at the same second slash his neck woth tremendous force. The katana cuts right through. We both fall down. His katana still dug into me, I grunt. I look back, Tori's head falls off the body, and the body falls soul-less on the harsh ground. I look at the roof, remembering the training we did together, the years of my childhood I spent playing with Tori and Chimeitikina; and I zone back to my almost ended life, I analyze my state: Almost dead.


Hoped you liked it!!!

SuperRaven
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SuperRaven
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Thats long anyways

There was a ninja, in the world sduitba, the end of all ends, then a samurai came and killed him, the end

P.S. i'm still working on it

DeadlyVelociraptor
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DeadlyVelociraptor
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That's a short story.

A real story would be much, much longer, wouldn't it?

BTW, silvermoon, I want to be judge some-when...

silvermoon123
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silvermoon123
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Okay, DV is officially a judge. Post your judgings here on the deadline or sometime near it if you're busy. Don't bother judging your own, though. I would like to have another judge, too.

And DV's story is a bit long, but is a tolerable size compared to SuperRaven's, which has inspired a new rule:
ALL ENTRIES MUST BE AT LEAST A PARAGRAPH LONG.

jacksonghuntington
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jacksonghuntington
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Id love to judge to. i enjoy these types of things. may i?

DeadlyVelociraptor
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DeadlyVelociraptor
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I would love if the second judge would actually know something about writing ^.^

Which reminds me, I took a class on fiction writing and fiction editing (AKA judging), so I know what I'm talkin' about.

Okay, just for future reference:

Categories I'm gonna judge on:

Setting: How well you describe the place the story takes place in, to get a good score on this one you need to make the reader able to picture the place in his/her mind, without using too much imagination

Plot: This is the base of the story, it's basically what happens in he story. To get a good score on this one you will need a good beginning, rising action, climax, and resolution (AKA ending)

Characterization: This is how well you build your characters. To get a good score on this you'll need to make each character in the story important and round.

Showing, not telling: This is how well you have transformed meaningless text into a well built scene. To get a good score on this... I think it's obvious.

Concept: This is not an official part of editing, but I want to add it- being such a crazy sci-fi fan. This gets you scored on the story's concept. For example, a story about a dude randomly killing zombies would get a 1/10, a story that has an original and fascinating concept.


Each category gets the same amount of points, I'll give a X/10 on each and get the total average scoring.


And yeah, if I'll judge mine I'll actually myself not give it a lot :P

MusicMan102
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MusicMan102
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I might consider judging if you don't have any problems with that. Also I was wondering if we're allowed to have any art that may depict a scene from the story?

Don't worry I am fairly well with stories and won't judge off of if it's just "good or bad" if you choose me.

DeadlyVelociraptor
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DeadlyVelociraptor
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It appears everybody wants to judge and non wants to enter...

Silvermoon, why don't you say that to judge, you must submit at-least submit an entry?

MusicMan102
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MusicMan102
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I am planning on submitting but my idea is still in the works and I'm waiting for a response on whether or notI can include any art. I realize it's a writing contest and that art won't help me in the judging, but I think it might be a nice touch.

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