Well hi there. As some of you may know, I had a previous writing thread. But I was so sick of reviving it, I had it locked. I would LOVE it if you gave me actual feedback, not just "lol I like it." That is a bummer. You have no idea, putting time and effort into something but just saying you like it. Tell me WHAT you liked about it. Or what you thought could be better.
Now. I'm not gonna beg or anything, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET THIS THING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! See? No begging.
Now. I will post all of my poetry shiitake from my old thread, so new people can have a looksie.
And I love everyone that told me to not give up. You know who you are, mah peeps. Sure it is torture looking back on what I wrote, but I really like poetry, so I'm gonna keep hoping I make something great.
As I look into the water, All that I see Is my angry face, Glaring back at me.
I look determined, But I feel my own fear. All I have to do, Is jump down from this pier.
I can't look to the sky Because I don't want to worry about my salvation, Isn't taking my own life Condeming me to ****ation?
Oh no Here I go Wondering about what is next. Is there a way to say that I am afraid? Without having some one coming in to invade On my poor little pity parade? I can't remeber the last time I prayed.
But this is why I want to leave So I don't have to wonder. If this next life really exists.
After I stop unclenching my fists, I jump off the rail, and start to fall. I hit the water, with a sound as loud as thunder. Hoping it was heard by all.
As I lose my sensory feelings, One clear thought screams through my head. I'm going under and there is nothing I can do. Nothing I want to do. Nothing to be done. I guess I lost in the long run
Because all I see is black I don't hear a voice, Trying to call me back. I don't feel my self being lifted or pulled To heaven or hell. There goes my shot at figuring it out. Seems usless now to think, Oh well.
I feel myself fading away Not even darkness Just a generic shade of grey. So this is what it boils down to. Nothing in itself. Let me fade off with this last adieu.
Where the sky reaches the land Higher and higher Touch God's hand An overwhelming desire To reach the peak At peace with the life No more answers to seek No more strife For me Just live And be free.
Trenches, trenches which ones to choose? The ones during the war in which Germany was doomed to lose?
What are the other types of trenches are there? I look at my mom and ask her my question, And it is quite apparent that she doesn't care.. ("> > And now it has become my obsession to find out about other types of trenches besides warfare
My research isn't fruitful and now I am lost I don't know what else to rhyme about because my computer battery is about to exhaust.
It is hot outside But I am frozen. There is nothing left to keep me goin.
I am still walking around And I still seem the same But on the inside There isn't a single flame.
I don't make a sound Cause my heart doesn't beat. I'm just waiting for someone To help make me complete.
It's freezing in here As cold as ice. I'm waiting for my heart to melt. But it won't, Cause I won't make the same mistake twice.
You taught me That even if something is great, It will leave just like you did. Cause it is my fate.
It was great until you went. You just left me there alone I will never forget what you did. So now, I am fine on my own.
I don't need to feel like that again. It couldn't possibly be good for any condition. All the times that my heart skipped a few beats. Boy, you played me like a pro musician.
So I don't need A warm heart anymore. Cause dealing with people Became such a chore.
I will embrace the cold. With open arms. As you once did for me, With all of your supposed 'love' and charms.
Yet there is still some hope left inside of me That maybe one day, Someone will come along, And my world might not be so grey.
Sitting on the oceans shore, Wondering about it is never a bore. Will it be calm, With repetitive waves? Or will it storm , Because it is in a rage?
I go out to the ocean for a swim Even though it is only on the rim. And as I try to take a look, To see if the creatures are like what's in the book, A get a really big surprise, OMFG I GOT SALT IN MY EYES!
I turn around to head to back to land. So I can lie down on the warm, soft, sand. But then I feel something nibbling on my back. I flip over, See a fish, WTF I'M NOT A SNACK!
I finally reached my destination, And my short little swim left me in frustration But I think back on why I was swimming I realize that it was because my questions were brimming. I won't blame the water for the time that I had It was my own curiosity that made me mad.
The Ocean is just a place Where all sorts of things live It has so much space And there is so much that it gives.
The wind is strong, The breeze is sincere, All throughout life, We hold our air dear. We breathe it in, We breathe it out, Without air we couldn't talk, Without air we couldn't shout.
Air makes up you, Air makes up me, And we thank it, By cutting down the trees. We are killing it, While it lets us live, Now if you think that is fair, You must not know how we could give.
We should recycle, As a token of our thanks, So life can go on, As we give what we take. Air is sweet, Air is kind. It lets our boats sail, It's what gives life to your mind.
So next time time you take a smoke, Or next time you throw away plastic, Remember that you are giving life, That last one was sarcastic. ;P Let's keep our grass green, Let's keep our oceans blue, Let's keep the air clean, Because if not, It will eventually kill you.
Come, Come away... With me Lets be together Forever We will thrive in our glee Free to love Free to be The only future that I can see Is where you are by my side Cause you came with me.
