Well hi there. As some of you may know, I had a previous writing thread. But I was so sick of reviving it, I had it locked. I would LOVE it if you gave me actual feedback, not just "lol I like it." That is a bummer. You have no idea, putting time and effort into something but just saying you like it. Tell me WHAT you liked about it. Or what you thought could be better.
Now. I'm not gonna beg or anything, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET THIS THING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! See? No begging.
Now. I will post all of my poetry shiitake from my old thread, so new people can have a looksie.
And I love everyone that told me to not give up. You know who you are, mah peeps. Sure it is torture looking back on what I wrote, but I really like poetry, so I'm gonna keep hoping I make something great.
I think I've given up on wishing people would actually give a darn about this thing. Sorry I've been busy, but I got 2 people on the last thing I posted after having like 10 asking me to post something. Kind of... hurtful.... but whatevs.
I might post something or another later one today.
"You can't be serious. This will never work, Blue." "Just shut up and help me over the fence, Red. You can go run away as soon as you help me over the fence." "Fine, but don't expect me to bail you out again. As soon as you cross that fence, you're on your own." I swallowed back my fear and weakness and put my foot in Red's hand. I was going to miss Red, but she made it clear, I'm too dangerous for us to be friends. Maybe after this was all over I could look for her, maybe become normal friends. I got over the fence and didn't look behind me to see Red running for the safe house. This was a job for the suicidal, those with nothing to lose. And I fit the bill.
I hit the grass without a sound, that was the benefit of being so light. I scoped out the land around me, it looked like a regular house. But no one really knows how many traps lie inside. No visible traps were outside the house, but from previous trips some others had, we could map out the land mine pattern. I tiptoed around them, I hoped I memorized the map well enough. There wasn't a single noise as I opened the window and climbed through. I didn't know if that meant something good or bad. To be safe I figured it was bad. There was enough light for me to see the room I landed in, but not enough to see the whole hallway a couple dozen feet away. I looked through the room as silently and quickly as possible, hoping to find any type of clue as to where my goal was located. I can't believe I was crazy enough to go on the mission practically blind and very alone. I silently slipped into the hallway, cautious of anything and everything. I didn't see anyone as I crept into what looked like an office. But I did happen to notice keys dangling from a hook on the side of a mahogany desk. I knelt beside the keys, and ran my fingers around the side of the hook for any bumps or slits, common and simple knowledge for any thief. The hairs on the back of my neck raised as my ears picked up on the rhythmic thump-thump of a person walking. The thumping got louder, and I quickly looked around the room and dove into a half opened closet, ignoring all habits of checking for traps.
Every last bit of my sanity flew from my body as the deep voice that my soul recognized started to chuckle.
Warning to whoever is looking, this short story is completely unedited. I'm not looking at what I type, I'm just writing and clicking the submit button. Woo. Since it seems no one is on in the middle of the day, I have tons of time to write because this is my free time. Woo hoo.
Update in a bit.
Oh, and I know people are looking reveal yourselves NOW!
*sigh* A bit of poetry to pass the time, my dears? I've had this one a while... I'm not sure if I have uploaded it here or not... I'm fairly certain I haven't... anyways here you go
Dancing on the Fairy's lake, With thousands of fireflies to keep you awake. Drifing ashore, Onto the fiery land. Calming waters, Rush on the soft sand. See the man, On the moon. Standing lonely, Humming a tune. The passion seen in his eye, Sparks your past, Where passion used to lie. Memories spinning Old scars returning My heart is breaking The past has now returned.
Take a stand against the time. Put your fears back, behind. Dreams returning Past is again blurring A new passion belongs Where fear once did its wrongs Hope inspired, Fresh desire To live a new day No more having to worry What these scars have to say. So return to the world Where the moon man is humming, The water and sand softly drumming, The fireflies light to keep you awake And start dancing again on the Fairy's lake.
Slay guy, come on you used to frequent the FLP so much, say more than you like them. Tell me why, or what could be better.
And paarfam, come on. I need critiquing. I'm asking. Please. I'm getting slightly annoyed/frustrated/depressed because people tell me to keep on writing, they like it, but no one ever tries to help me improve as a writer. I've revived this thing more that I would care to, I've more poetry on here concentrated than anywhere else I have posted, just pick one and tell me what you liked about it AND what could be better.
